Aries Horoscope: The Signs as Obscure Emojis

This Aries Season we’re bringing attention to the unsung heroes of the emoji canon. Find out which Very Rare Emoji you are. 👁‍🗨🥌📯🥛🫕🧮🏺🎑💺🕴🏻⚗️👣

The Signs as Obscure Emojis

♈ Aries - 👁️‍🗨️ Eye in Speech Bubble

If Aries sees something, they will say something.

 

♉ Taurus - 🥌 Curling Stone

The noble curling stone is grounded yet strong willed. This broom-centric sport is popular in Canada, commonly referred to as the Taurus of the Americas.

 

♊ Gemini - 📯 Postal Horn

If I had a nickel for every time a text conversation has mandated the postal horn emoji, I would have enough money to buy the centuries old family run factory that makes them. The merging of these two incongruous elements is classic Gemini behavior. And besides, who else is brave enough to accessorise with tassels?

 

♋ Cancer - 🥛 Glass of Milk

In my experience, the Venn diagram of lactose intolerant people and Cancers is a circle, so feel free to select any rare milk of your choosing. For the most Cancerian experience, drink this 1. warmed 2. before your bedtime 3. robed and/or in a stocking cap.

 

♌ Leo - 🫕 Fondue

Hot, dangerous, and indulgent, Leo often finds themselves at the center of attention. Leo can be a little too much and might come off as cheesy, but they always have warm intentions.

 

♍ Virgo - 🧮 Abacus

It’s not just that Virgo is organized, it’s that they are particular about their brand of organization - organization², if you will. When the check comes, Virgo is pulling an abacus out of their Binder Clip Bag to calculate the tip. If you’re a Virgo and you were obsessed with those wooden bead mazes at the doctor’s office, you owe me ten dollars.

 

♎ Libra - 🏺 Amphora

Libra is the type to inspire a poem. Their dedication to aesthetics, proportions, and *~good vibes~* is Grecian. NOT to be confused with the funeral urn.

 

♏ Scorpio - 🎑 Moon Viewing Ceremony

This highly underrated emoji depicts tsukimi, the Japanese autumnal tradition of moon-gazing. According to my moon math, this festival takes place right around Scorpio season. Celebrations include typical Scorpio festivities, such as decorating with pampas grass, eating globular foods, and looking at the Moon (presumably with longing).

 

♐ Sagittarius - 💺 Seat

A seat on a system of mass transit is the only place a Sagittarius gets any rest because in the grand scheme of things they are moving very quickly. Vroom, and I cannot stress this enough, vroom.

 

♑ Capricorn - 🕴️ Person in Suit Levitating

Nothing out of the ordinary to see here! This sharply dressed, levitating, slightly ominous businessman is also a Ska fanatic. Such is the radical separation of internal and external in the Capricorn.

 

♒ Aquarius - ⚗️ Alembic

A student of the pseudo-sciences, Aquarius will make good use of this alchemic distilling apparatus in their pursuit of the Truth. It also doesn’t hurt that it looks like a *water pipe*.

 

♓ Pisces - 👣 Footprints

First of all, Pisces is ruled by the feet, so jot that down. These footprints meander along the beach of Pisces’ mind as they contemplate the watery wisdom they’ve karmically acquired.