Horoscopes for Virgo Season: The Signs as Houseplants
by John Macejka
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Virgo Season is HERE! ♍ We’re personally a bit burnt out after a lovely-yet-exhausting Leo Season and are ready to heal and regenerate… Virgo’s specialty! To celebrate the tender, nurturing vibes that Virgos curate so naturally, we present for your consideration:
The Signs as Houseplants 🌱
♈ Aries - Chestnut Vine
A rambunctious and vigorous vine, you waste no time taking up space. Those who don’t know any better may attempt to control you, which of course just causes you to grow even more aggressively. |
♉ Taurus - ‘Regal Shield’ Alocasia
The giant, purplish-green shield-shaped leaves growing from this bad boy evoke images of royalty and symbolize the classic Taurean pastime of being defensive. |
♊ Gemini - Monstera Albo
You have no problem being split right down the middle--it’s as if you’re two separate plants altogether! |
♋ Cancer - String of Dolphins
This trailing succulent resembles a sea creature, prefers being in the house and keeps a lot inside… water, mainly. |
♌ Leo - Medinilla Magnifica
Also known as “Showy Medinilla” (literally), you’re the inarguable focal point of any room you’re in. Some might find your draping pink blooms to be too much, but you can’t help it if you stand out! |
♍ Virgo - Cape Primrose
Don’t be fooled by the dainty, painterly blossoms--this beaut is a powerhouse, constantly working hard behind the scenes on sending up its next flower. |
♎ Libra - ‘Pink Princess’ Philodendron
Sure, it cost you your entire paycheck, but gaze upon the AESTHETIC BEAUTY OF IT ALL. |
♏ Scorpio - ‘Raven’ ZZ Plant
Your slightly goth appearance and inclination to hang out in shady spots may intimidate some, but those who stick around quickly learn that you’re actually remarkably reliable and trustworthy. |
♐ Sagittarius - Selaginella ‘Peacock Moss’
Sort of like a fern and sort of like a moss, you defy categorization! Your psychedelic iridescent foliage covers ground quickly, popping up somewhere new everyday. |
♑ Capricorn - Money Tree
Though you may be a bit tightly wound, your finances have NEVER looked so green. |
♒ Aquarius - Nepenthes
You share many similarities with the ol’ pitcher plant: you both possess heavy extraterrestrial energy and are full of digestive liquid. |
♓ Pisces - Sensitive Plant
You can be prone to overstimulation and fold in on yourself when mishandled, but it’s only to preserve your precious energy and protect yourself from harm. |
Written by John Macejka ✨