So easy a kid can do it? No — so easy an Aries can do it.

10/10 - would put it in my mouth

Sturdy, industrial, classic. Don’t get screwed on so tight you can’t reverse your choices.

10/10 - good mouth feel

We could go this-a-way, or we could go that-a-way. Some say you flip-flop, I say you’re versatile.

10/10 - would hook onto my cheek like a fish

You’re okay, you just need to take some SPACE!

10/10 - would bite into like an old timey miner determining the authenticity of a gold coin

You stand proud above the surface. You are meant to be seen!

10/10 - would throw a handful back like popcorn

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

10/10 - would use the forbidden ice tray

You just want everything to go along smoothly.

10/10 - a good source of fiber

You are permanently affixed... yet invisibly so.

10/10 - would eat with a spreadable cheese

SK-CHNK, K-CHNK, K-CHNK. Gotta blast!

10/10 - would live dangerously and chomp down on these bad bois

This utilitarian sheath is holding it all together behind the scenes. It’s okay to let people know when you’re struggling under pressure!

10/10 - would gnaw for several hours

Yes, you make flat-pack furniture possible. But at what cost?

10/10 - would hold in my mouth like a metallic mint

You are installed to hold up 1. a dried bouquet of flowers 2. a smoked glass mirror 3. an evil painting.

10/10 - satisfying crunchy snack