Gemini Horoscope: The Signs as Species of Pasta

Pasta is a beautiful metaphor for the human condition: no matter what you look like, we're all made out of the same water flour mixture. Anyway, here are 12 types of pasta that describe the irreconcilable differences you have with others.

The Signs as Species of Pasta

♈ Aries: Elbow Macaroni

You’re cute, fun, and let’s face it, charming. Your impulsivity can be such a great energy, especially when the group needs an instant Kraft pick me up. But maybe it’s time to grow up a little bit.

 

♉ Taurus: Gnocchi

This potato-based pasta is so dang thicc it’s practically a dumpling. Toss a few of these in some cream sauce and lounge in the ultimate earth sign experience. (Bonus points if you make the gnocchi yourself.)

 

♊ Gemini: Gemelli

It’s in the name!!!

 

♋ Cancer: Pappardelle

This has the coze and the thicth. Plus if it hasn’t been cooked into a bolognese, you can always use it to knit a sweater or something.

 

♌ Leo: Campanelle

This is a great option for a cheese-based pasta moment, so we can definitely measure maturation along the fire sign bloodline. While we all appreciate a noteworthy carbohydrate, try not to center all of the attention on yourself during dinner.

 

♍ Virgo: Bow Ties

You have pasta salad energy.

 

♎ Libra - Angel Hair

You’re perfect. You’re beautiful. You look like Angel Hair Pasta. You're a model. Just be careful; sometimes your delicacy can be detrimental.

 

♏ Scorpio: Bucatini

This is an edible straw which harbours sauce secretly in its hollow core. Cue the TikTok sound that’s like, “what’s he building in there?”

 

♐ Sagittarius: Fusilli

Confident, eccentric, and bold, you can handle yourself in a thick sauce. Go off, twisty king!

 

♑ Capricorn: Orzo

You’re so buttoned up and professional that you could be mistaken for a grain. Absorb some of the broth you’ve been steeping in and live your truth. You too are pasta like the rest of us!

 

♒ Aquarius: Wagon Wheels

What are we doing here, guys?

 

♓ Pisces: Shells

No matter what I cast Pisces as, I can never satisfy them. Maybe I just don’t understand the twelfth sign very well. Or, maybe their unique brand of extreme sensitivity and empathy leads them to take unaccredited astrology memes a little too seriously! Regardless, I think we can all agree that she sells sea shells by the sea shore.